Thanks Mom

Well today is the seventh anniversay of my Mom's sudden and unexpected death.  I remember that day so clearly.  I have been having a really difficult week emotionally.  With the news about Randy earlier this week and other life circumstances... I have been dreading this day all week long.  But...God is good all the time...and with several inches of snow and ice everything is cancelled.  Instead of struggling through leading worship and trying to not look miserable, I get to spend the day home with Cheryl and the boys and look out my window and enjoy how beautiful it is.  I think it's a gift from Mom.  She always took care of me.  I miss you and love you.

Speechless

I learned today that a friend committed suicide almost a month ago.  I can't believe something like that can happen, and I can go a month without knowing.  Randy and I would call each other a couple times a month and chit chat.  We sent emails and chatted online, and got together when we could find time to do so.  We spoke last on November 6th.  He called me on my cell and we chatted for over an hour.  I always enjoyed talking to Randy. He had a good perspective and always spoke the truth in love.  He had a warm smile, quick laugh, and generous spirit.  He was headed for Ft. Lauderdale over Thanksgiving and was going to be busy before and after.  I'd been pretty busy too, so it was not unusual that we had not caught up with each other.  Last week I started trying to get in touch and thought it was strange that I had not heard from him.  Today when I Googled him looking for his work number I was knocked speechless when the first hit with his name on Google was his obituary dated November 9.  He died just three days after we last talked.  We had a great conversation...what happened in three days time that he would kill himself?  At this moment my gut is aching and my heart is breaking.  I don't know what happened buddy.  I'm sorry that I didn't know.  I'm sorry that I missed something when we were talking.  I'm sorry that I won't see and talk to you again in this life.  I love you, bud.

Come Holy Spirit

The wind is blowing so hard today.  I've seen some of the neighbors shingles landing in my yard.  The siding is rattling on my house.  My fireplace is howling as the air sweeps down the flue.  The trees are bowing low at the mercy of the wind.  And...it all makes me think about Pentecost.  Oh, what the sounds of that mighty rushing wind must have been like!  I always imagined it a bit warmer though!

Just around the bend...

I have a hard time living in the moment.  I am always anticipating, wishing, daydreaming about what is coming up, or what could be, or what could have been.  Unfortunately, I think that sometimes keeps me from really enjoying the right now.

Knowing God

I continue to be moved by this book; "Looking for God Knows What" by Donald Miller...

"If you ask me, the way to tell if a person knows God for real, I mean knows the real God, is that they will fear Him.  They wouldn't go around making absurd political assertions and drop God's name like an ace card, and they wouldn't be making absurd statements about how God wants you to be rich and how if you send in some money to the ministry God will bless you.  And for that matter, they wouldn't be standing on a beach shouting about how they are God, twirling around in the waves.  It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe."

AMEN!

Looking for God Knows What...

That’s the name of the book I’ve been reading. I picked it up over a year ago and as with most books I had to put it on the bottom of the pile and get back to it when I read all the others before it. It’s an enjoyable read. I’m finding it an insightful reminder of all the things that get in the way of our faith. All the things we go looking for thinking that we are seeking God, but really we are just self-medicating ourselves from God trying to fill a “God sized hole” with worldly things that cannot fill the space.